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itsa-wonder:

#he still has the dollar bill! #six months later he still has the dollar bill #he thinks she is incapable of love and he needs to think that to deal with her death #because if she can’t love him he can’t love her and they can’t be in love #the woman on the table is just a dead woman he knew once and not someone he loved #not someone he loved horribly and against his highly intelligent judgment #and that love did not reach into him and make him honest with himself for the first time in his sorry life #but he did love her#he loved her and she saw deep into the center of him and he couldn’t stand it #lilah is not a hero’s love interest; lilah is not kind or pure and lilah is not fred #but wesley isn’t a hero and wesley isn’t kind or pure either #and he doesn’t want to be the sort of person who can fall in love with lilah morgan #but he is exactly that person #she can’t have loved him and he even argues with A PROJECTION OF HER to that effect#but that’s the argument wesley has in his head #it’s all in his head #this entire scene is in his head and it is the only time we are able to see directly into his head except for in origin #and when we see inside him in origin you know who is EVERYWHERE? #lilah morgan #because it was the only true thing either of them ever—

(Source: whedonversegifs, via mindycollette)

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    I thought I shipped Wesley and Fred, and then Wesley and Lilah happened.
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    Excuse me while I fling myself into the ocean
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